


Last Goodbyes

by ice_hot_13



Category: Transformers (Bay Movies)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-06-22
Updated: 2012-06-22
Packaged: 2017-12-15 19:54:55
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,263
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/853430
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ice_hot_13/pseuds/ice_hot_13
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ironhide has said goodbye to many things in his life. The time has come to say goodbye to one more. Post-The Meaning In Silence</p>
            </blockquote>





	Last Goodbyes

Ironhide had said goodbye too many times. He'd known each could not be the last, every time, he'd known. Even so, there were some things he'd never thought would leave.

Ironhide woke to one-AM-darkness, and realized the berth was empty beside him. "Prowl?" There was no answer. The room remained still, soundless. "Prowl?" Silence. For a few long moments, all he could hear was his own sparkbeat.

And then- then, he could breathe. He could hear singing, slightly off-key, a crooning Cybertronian lullaby he knew well. Ironhide lay there a few more moments, listening until the voice faded away.

"Look, Kinetic." Prowl's voice, a soft murmur from the adjoining room, "right there in the sky, between those stars." Ironhide crept to the doorway; Prowl stood before the window, back to the door. In his arms was the tiniest mech alive, nestled against him as her whimpers subsided. Their sparkling still seemed so very little, compared to them. She made a humming sound at Prowl's voice. "It used to be that you could see Cybertron every one hundred and thirty years. Right there. Just like a star."

"But… no there." A tiny hand reached towards the night sky. "no there?"

"No, baby. Not anymore."

"Why?" She nuzzled against him, "why no there?"

"It's gone now, Kinny. Has been for eighty-two years. Before you were sparked."

"Oh." Kinetic paused. "Cy-ton pretty?" Prowl sighed softly, kissed the little helm.

"Yes, baby. Very pretty. The whole planet was pretty, just like you." She smiled and pointed to the sky again.

"Stars? Cy-ton stars?"

"Very, very many of them. The sky was filled with stars." Kinetic yawned.

"I like stars."

"Me too," he murmured, as she yawned again and closed her eyes. Ironhide joined them at the window, slipping his arms around Prowl from behind. Ironhide could see the dark spot in the sky, where no stars shone. The lost reach of sky seemed darker than night. "Never really seemed real." Prowl whispered, "but now…" he gazed up at the sky that had lost their home, "it's gone." He drew in a slow breath, "never thought it'd be goodbye for good." Ironhide had no words for him, for any of them.

If he'd so wanted, Ironhide could have replayed all the goodbyes of his life, there in flawless precision, every last sparkbeat recorded, but he didn't need the recordings. He remembered the last days of his era, the time that had so stunned him. Just as Prowl had swooned over Egyptian mysteries, Ironhide had been ensnared by the American Revolution, by the bravery and determination and patriotism. He hadn't known humans could display such universal emotions, that such meaning could be found in abstract notions. And he remembered the day he realized it was gone. The day the fire faded to a dull glow, nothing compared to the roaring glory of previous days. The day he realized the era he'd found his place in was gone, leaving him behind. That goodbye had hurt most of all.

There was one goodbye Ironhide had never said. So, so long ago, when Prowl had left, Ironhide had not said goodbye. He'd never been given the chance, never had to say those words. And in some way, it felt like Prowl had never truly left him. He had asked, twice, why Prowl had never said goodbye.

The first time, Prowl had told Ironhide that he'd been scared to, and admit the choice he'd made.

The second time, Prowl had told Ironhide the truth. Some words didn't need to be said, he'd explained, because they had no place in the world at that very moment. He'd never explained further.

"Prowl?" Ironhide asked softly, still watching the distant stars, "why did you never say goodbye?"

Prowl was silent for some time, and the only sound was Kinetic's steady breathing.

"I didn't want that to be the end." Prowl finally said, voice quiet, "I told myself that, maybe, if I didn't say goodbye to you, I'd have some reason to find you again that I could count on to pull me through. The fact that I loved you hadn't saved me from being too scared to say anything, so I thought that, maybe, if I left it unfinished…" he paused for a moment, "and I think… somewhere, I knew that it wasn't the end for us." He turned, pressed a kiss to Ironhide's lips, soft and sweet.

"I'm glad it wasn't." Ironhide murmured. "I just… I wish we could be home…"

"Me too." Prowl leaned back against him, turning his gaze back to the missing shine in the sky, "even if the cons hadn't destroyed it, Hide, I don't think I could stand going back."

"Why not?" Ironhide asked, but even as the words met air, he knew. It wouldn't be the same. The war had torn their home to shreds, and even in their absence, battles had waged on and destruction had reduced the land to ruins of ash and smoke. Even if it was still there, even if they could go back, the goodbye said years and years ago would still have been the last, as the Cybertron that was their home couldn't be found in all the universe's vastness.

"It's not home anymore." Prowl said softly, cuddling Kinetic closer. She gave a content little whirring sound in her sleep, clinging tighter. "I wouldn't be able to take it, seeing what it became in the end."

Some defensive part of Ironhide's subconscious had been refusing to accept what had been obvious for so very long. Ironhide had always hoped that he and Prowl could raise their sparkling on Cybertron. When Kinetic was sparked, he'd still had some shred of hope, that she would someday see the way the morning light lit up the cities, the way the night sky was sprinkled with so many stars, starlight was brighter than moonlight. It wasn't until Prowl's words broke through that he was forced to accept the truth of reality.

The time had come to say goodbye to that dream, to accept that that goodbye had truly been his last goodbye to home.

"Stars?" Kinetic had stirred, drawn to the moonlight, "How many?" Prowl smiled gently as she looked up at him. "Many?" She turned bright optics to Ironhide.

"Very, very many." He answered, kissing her helm.

"Why don't you count 'em, Kinny?" Prowl suggested. Ironhide closed his eyes, listening to Kinetic's sleepy voice, falling asleep before she could realize there were too many to count.

There was one saving grace, however, that would make every goodbye that led up to their life now worth all the pain.

"Prowl?"

"Hmm?" Prowl was humming the Cybertronian lullaby that Kinetic loved, gently rocking her to sleep.

"I love you."

There would be last goodbyes forever, and the goodbye to Cybertron would always, always be the last.

Prowl kissed him, murmuring a soft "I love you" that blended with the gentle breathing of their sparkling in the stillness of the night until it sounded like the world was laced with the lullaby that would be their forever link to home. And when he couldn't remember the exact way the stars shone in the Cybertron sky, couldn't remember enough about the home they'd said goodbye to, Ironhide knew the world would not fall to pieces.

Prowl and Kinetic turned every goodbye into the welcoming of what was to come next. No goodbye could turn forever broken, could steal away the stars, not when beyond every goodbye, there were stars waiting to be discovered.

There were far more stars than goodbyes.


End file.
